(Denmark x Reader) It's all my fault

(reader's pov)

h'he's dead, i still don't think i can bring myself to say it outloud. it's all my fault he's gone, all my fault. he was way more important to this world than i ever will be, it's all my fault. i didn't even go to his funeral i'm awful i deserved to die not him, never him. 
i feel stupid being here at his grave, god he didn't even want to be buried he wanted to burned like vikings. i failed him, it's all my fault.
"h-hey Matthias, i-i-i'm sorry i've been avoiding you lately it's just that, i don't think i can forgive m-myself it's all my fault" i let out a choked sob, it isn't fair
"n-now i know you're saying t-that i shouldn't blame myself b-but i'm right and you know it, it's all my fault" why was this so hard i-it's not like i can even hear his voice i'm just talking to air 
"i'm s-so sorry, i should have stopped you, i didn't really need the peanut butter right then, it's all my fault i should have never gotten pregnant, because n-now our child will never know their father and it's all my fault"